Naruto Goes to School!
by WriterforLife29
Summary: Lesson 1: Animal Science: Mating SasuSaku NejiTen ShikaIno NaruHina AU They really are paying attention in class! series of oneshots! "And I got a new fish."
1. Animal Science

DISCLAIMER:i don't own Naruto

* * *

Sakura sat viligently in class.

She took notes with concentration.

"Sakura we're taking notes on animals, not war tactics,"Sasuke teased.

"Well excuse me for being an A student."

"So am I but I don't take notes with as much enthusiasm."

"When mating, the males will usually compete either by 1.fighting other males or by 2.showing off to the females."

Sakura noted this.

"There are occasions in the animal kingdom where, like the tasmanian devil, the males will force the female to mate."

"So tasmanian devils rape the females of their species?",Naruto asked.

"Well to put it extremely yes. Other techniques include 3. a mating call or 4. presenting the female with a gift."

Sakura finished her notes and went to her next class.

Sasuke teased her again about her note taking.

* * *

That day Sakura had to stay after school to help the soccer team for extra credit.

Sasuke was there for his soccer practice.

And the mating ritual begins.

* * *

Sakura was setting up the cones when a boy approached her.

"Well hello there Sakura. What are you doing here?"

"I'm helping out for extra credit."

"Smart, beautiful and helpful. You're like the ultimate package."

Suddenly the boy was hit in the head by a soccer ball.

1."Oops! Sorry Ryoga!"Sasuke yelled.

Sakura was left to set up the cones in peace.

During the practice Sakura got to see Sasuke play without his fangirls.

She had seen him at games but this time he seemed better. . .she wondered why.

After the practice while the other boys went to the locker room, Sasuke stayed out with Sakura.

"Coach really tired us out,"Sasuke said.

He took off his shirt and drank from a water bottle.

2.Sakura blushed trying not to look at his rippling muscles.

"You know it's rude to stare,"he teased.

"Well excuse me! I'm not the one who took off their shirt in public!"

Sasuke kissed her forehead.

"Honestly Sakura you don't have to hide your feelings if you don't want to."

"I'm not hiding anything."

Sasuke leaned toward her, leaving Sakura to face his toned chest.

3.She could hear his hear beating loud and hard.

She looked up just in time to catch his lips with hers.

As he kissed her she felt him put something in her hand. . .a box.

When he broke the kiss she opened the box.

4.Inside was a gold ring with an emerald.

* * *

Naruto ran into the classroom.

"Sakura! Sasuke told me everything last night! How far did you guys go!? Was he like a tasmanian devil!?"

"Naruto!", she punched him.

Sasuke walked in and his fangirls swarmed him.

"Sasuke-kun tell me it isn't so!?"

"You didn't have sex with that loser!"

"No, I didn't have sex with a loser. I almost did with Sakura. But she's not a loser."

"NOO!?",they squealed like little piggies.

Sasuke pushed through them and sat next to Sakura.

He gazed at the ring that marked her as his.

Then Sakura realized something.

_'Note to self: pay close attention to relation between lectures and life.'_

_

* * *

_REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. Algebra

The

math

in

here

is

brainless

babble.

NOTE: NEJI GETS A LITTLE DIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

* * *

TenTen sat lazily in class listening to her teacher. 

But she could barely understand him.

"For every nonzero number _a,_ and the exponent _b _, then multiply the variables, times the numerator."

He turned to the class.

"Neji-san, can you write the examples from your book, while I grade your last test papers."

"Hai."

TenTen turned her head to Neji Hyuuga.

He was the top of the class.

And TenTen was at the bottom.

_'That's because Naruto isn't here.'_

Neji went to the board.

She couldn't understand him either.

"The geometric sequence, of the 5th power, using scientific notation."

She was about to blow.

"AAGGGHHHH!!!!"

"TenTen?",Neji called.

"I can't take it!!!!",she screamed.

"TenTen-san!",her teacher yelled.

She calmed down.

"See me after class."

TenTen groaned.

* * *

When everyone left she was alone. 

But Neji was there too.

Their teacher approached them.

"TenTen-san, inoder to discourage anymore outbursts, Neji-san will tutor you for the last period today."

Neji opened their books and tried his best to explain it.

"I still don't get it!"

"Are you even listening?", he asked.

"Yes! But what's the point!? I'll never get this so why bother?!"

"TenTen!! What's wrong with you!!"

TenTen was shocked.

Neji never used that tone with her.

He smirked.

"I know what to do. Come with me."

They went to the soccer fields.

"You have perfect aim in weaponry right?"

TenTen nodded.

With that Neji taught her math using weapons.

"When you do this jutsu you're weapons increase. . ."

"Exponentially! Neji they increase exponentially!",TenTen exclaimed.

"Right, now you understand."

Then Neji got an idea.

He kissed her gently.

TenTen blushed.

"Now think what I could do to make that blush increase exponentially,"he smirked.

TenTen kissed him back and wound her arms around his neck.

He pulled her close by her waist.

"Why don't we finish this later?",TenTen asked.

"Maybe around 7 x 102?",Neji suggested.

He smirked as TenTen tried to figure that out.

"7:00 it is!"

She kissed him before walking away.

* * *

The next class TenTen walked in happily.

"Hey TenTen!",Ino called.

"Hello!"

"Have a goodnight?"

"W-why would you say that?",TenTen stuttered.

Neji walked by her.

"Because you have hickies that I believe will increase by about 10 by this weekend,"he whisphered.

* * *

SORRY!!

I'm sorry it's not as good as my SasuSaku one.

But I stink at math.

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	3. Cooking

Naruto was depressed.

His next class was cooking.

He hated cooking.

Why cook when you could make ramen in 3 minutes in the microwave?

But there was one perk.

Hinata was there.

She would always help him.

Hinata was probably the reason he wasn't failing.

"Okay class,"their teacher said. "Today we'll be making different chocolate dishes. There are different materials around. Now get started."

"Naruto, what would you like to make?"

"Why chocolate? Why not ramen?"

Hinata giggled at him.

"Why don't we make something simple, like a chocolate cake?"

"Okay,"Naruto muttered defeated.

As they made it he had a thought.

"Hinata, why do people give chocolates on Valentine's Day?"

"I don't know exactly, maybe it was just a tradition from long ago."

"I'm just sayin', why is it like always connected to love?"

Hinata started blushing.

"W-why would y-you want to know that?"

"It just came to me." 

* * *

After class Naruto went to ask Sasuke.

Surprisingly he had a very thourough answer.

"A study said that melting chocolate in your mouth increased brain activity and heart rate that is more than when you kiss someone. So eating chocolate is like kissing."

"How do you know that!",Naruto asked.

"Sakura and I had to do a report on it once."

_'What class are you taking?',_Naruto thought to himself.

Then he had an idea.

"Hinata's always helped me, not just with cooking but with everything. I know what I'll do!" 

* * *

The next day Naruto had his plan all ready.

He caught Hinata before school started.

"Hinata I wanted to thank you for all your help."

"Really?"

"Yep, and with some research from Sasuke, TenTen distracting Neji, and Sakura for giving me the whole idea, this is my gift to you!"

Hepulled her close and kissed her.

Hinata tasted something in his mouth.

It had to distinct flavor of melted chocolate.

Finally he pulled away.

Hinata was so red she was sure she was on fire.

"N-N-N-Nar-r-r-rut-t-t-to?"

"Well, melted chocolate is just like kissing, so what if you put them together! You get a better reaction!"

Hinata was still red.

"You won't believe how much chocolate I ate to get that ramen taste out. Sakura said,'Naruto just brush your teeth then eat chocolate.' But I said that would taketoo long. And I'll probably get diabetes for all that chocolate but your worth it!"

Hinata had fainted by the end of the sentence.

"Hinata? Hinata!" 

* * *

Hinata woke up in the nurses office.

Sitting beside her was Naruto.

He had a box of chocolates.

"Sorry, I guess that was some shock. Luckily Neji doesn't know yet. That might explain why I'm still alive."

Hinata remained silent.

"Well since you fainted Sasuke said I probably shouldn't kiss you for a while, and Sakura said 'Screw that! Naruto you better kiss her like Neji's about to rip your lips off!' But then again it is that time of the month for her-"

"Naruto,"Hinata said.

"Yeah?"

Hinata's heart either beating from the chocolate or from Naruto. . .or maybe both.

She jupmed on Naruto and landed her lips on his.

* * *

The next day. . .

Naruto sat at his desk with a lazy smile.

Neji burst in the class room.

"Uzumaki! Hinata is eating nothing but chocolate! What did you do?"

He pulled Naruto by the collar.

Neji smelled coco on his breath.

"What have you done with her?",he muttered darkly.

Naruto feeling giddy today could do nothing but grin.

But Neji took it the wrong way.

"If I find her acting wierd for the next few months, it would be best for you to move to Brazil change your name to Pedro Napolean, dye your hair black, shave it and wear brown contacts."

"But won't you still recognize me with that description?",Naruto dumbly asked.

Before Neji could answer TenTen grabbed his arm and carried him away.

"What does he think I did?",Naruto questioned.

Sasuke watched the whole thing in amusement.

"Maybe because some people see chocolate as an aphrodisiac."

"Afro-what?"

"An aphrodisiac is an item usually food that is used to increase sexual pleasure."

"Sasuke, what claases do you and Sakura take?"

"I think what's more important is what Neji thinks you and Hinata did with chocolate."

"Neji's got one dirty mind!"

* * *

REVIEW! 


	4. Chapter 4

I have a new fic in mind.

Here's just the main facts about it.

1. it's an AU, sorta in times of knights and princesses.

2. it's a crssover between Naruto and Princess Tutu

3. SasuSaku, NejiTen, Naruhina,MythoRue,FakirAhiru,OCOC,GaaraOC.

4.It has many of my patented Comdey Moments that are pure comic relief.

So should I put it on Fanfiction??

_Yours Truly,_

_SasuxSakufan_


	5. Video Editing Class

Sasuke hated this.

It was time for the worst trial of this year.

Their teacher assigned them a project.

But he could celebrate a little bit.

It was a partner assignment.

And he was paired up with Sakura.

Oh how fate musted have loved him.

"Sasuke, c'mon you need to study!"

"Sakura the project isn't due until next month."

"But I want this done quickly."

"Well I've done projects the night before they were due and they came out perfect."

"Well, that's you. I need time to make sure my projects are perfect."

Naruto came by with a video camera and spoke in an Australian accent.

(AN:Australians don't take offense to this please!)

"And here we see the African lion and his mate fighting over dominance in the pride."

"Shut up Naruto,"Sakura said.

"Crikey, the lioness has seen me and is about to pounce."

"That's it!"

Sakura actually jumped on Naruto.

While she was attacking Naruto Sasuke noticed the video camera was on the table recodring the whole thing.

He chuckled to himself.

Sasuke had an idea.

* * *

Sakura came into class the next morning.

Sasuke had a grin on his face.

"What's with you?"

"Nothing, nothing at all."

"SASUKE!!"

A yell rang throughout the school.

Naruto came running in.

"You! You-you!"

"Me?",Sasuke mocked.

"What's wrong Naruto?", Sakura asked.

"Sasuke put my video on Youtube!!"

"What video?"

Naruto took out his camera and showed the clips of Sakura beating him up.

Only Sasuke replaced the sound with the audio of a lioness hunting a wildebeast.

Sakura's eyes got dark.

Sasuke forgot one consequence about his decision.

Sakura's anger.

"You! You-you!"

Sasuke stayed quiet this time.

Sakura teared up.

"You can see my panties in this video!"

She cried on Sasuke's shoulder.

"T-that's why you're upset?!",Naruto asked dumbfounded.

Sakura continued to weep.

Sasue patted her back.

"Don't worry Sakura."

She looked up at him.

"We can fix it in editing."

Sakura squealed and gave him kisses all over.

"This is ridiculous!",Naruto yelled.

Sakura continued to kiss Sasuke.

"Uh guys?"

Still kissing.

"Hey listen to me!!"

--

Naruto woke up in his bed sweating.

"It was a dream?"

Naruto laid back down and turned his head.

"AGH!",he screamed as he saw a white unicorn.

"Sh! I'm hiding from some wierdos. They want me to be their Banana King or go to Candy Mountain, or some other crap!!"

--

Naruto woke up in sweat.

He tunred and there was no unicorn, just a naked Hinata.

"If this is a dream I'll go take it."

* * *

REVIEW!!


	6. Armadillos

I think I'm going to make these next few oneshots animal analogies.

How does that sound?

Well okay then. . .since you won't answer

* * *

Shikamaru, was an armadillo.

Yes. . .an armadillo.

Let me explain.

He always slept on his desk, with his arms covering his head.

And whenever he was standing, or walking or sitting, he had his arms crossed.

As if to defend himself.

But from what?

Who am I?

I'm just his life long friend who seems to be separated by his impulsive defensive strategy.

That was a pretty confusing sentence wasn't it?

Let's just say that even though we're friends, we haven't hugged since 6th grade.

And just so you know, I'm a girl.

That's few lines would've sounded a little. . .uncomfortable from a guy.

But yeah, he's an armadillo.

You're probably thinking, 'Wouldn't a turtle be a more accurate comparison?'

Well no!

Turtles are cute!

He is not cute!

Armadillos are cute too. . .but not as much as turtles!!

Why won't he ever hug me?!

Even when I give him a hug, gosh!

"Ino."

What's wrong with a hug?

"Ino."

Am I smelly?

"Ino."

Is he not my friend anymore?

"Ino!"

"What!?"

"Class is over. Let's go."

Yeah that's him, the armadillo.

I read once that an armadillos belly is just fur and skin, so they roll up to protect themselves.

And that's exactly what he's doing!

"Ino, are you ranting in your head again?"

"I have a right to rant!! Sasuke and Sakura, and Naruto and Hinata have had their oneshots!! And I think they're the most popular couple."

"Ino, stop breaking the fourth wall."

"No! Go roll up in a ball!"

"What?"

* * *

After school Shikamaru walked Ino home.

"Ino, is a hug really that important to you?"

"Yes! Next to eating chocolate on a period, it's the most important thing in my life."

Shikamaru sighed.

Ino was about to go through her door.

And he would hear her whines for a few more days.

"Ino."

"WHAT!?"

"Are you on your per-"

"YES I AM!!"

"That would explain the rant, that took up more than half of this chapter."

"Now look who's breaking the fourth wall."

Shikamaru sighed again.

Then he opened his arms wide.

Ino got a wide smile on her face.

Then she squealed for joy before jumping in his arms.

Armadillos roll up in a ball to hide from their predators.

But they have to open up eventually to. . .do stuff.

Yeah. . .stuff. . .yeah.


	7. Fish

Sakura listened boredly to her Biology teacher's lecture. They were talking about animal behavior but for some reason Sakura couldn't be anymore bored. The teacher turned the lecture to fish.

The rosette suddenly got interested. She herself had owned 4 pet fish in her lifetime. The first was in, coincidentally, the first grade. Sakura loved that fish. She named it Seabiscuit. Seabiscuit was a nice and gentle fish.

Then she got two others. She had forgotten their names but knew they had something to do with 'sea'. These two were more aggressive. 6 year old Sakura would sometimes find them pushing Seabiscuit around in the bowl.

Then one day, Sakura came back home from school and found no fish in the bowl. She asked her Mom what happened. The details were fuzzy now, but it basically boiled down to one ate Seabiscuit and the other ate that one and it somehow died soon after.

Now Sakura had a new fish she won from a carnival. This fish was very distant. Everytime Sakura came to the bowl. He looked past like she wasn't there. The one thing about fish was you couldn't pet them.

So Sakura couldn't pet her fish and it wouldn't acknowledge her. It was like having a pet rock. But by now she knew what it was like. 'Rock' was the one word definition of her best friend. They'd known each other for a long time.

He comforted her when her fish died when she was 6. But now as they were 15, he wouldn't even hug her if this fish died. Then something occured to Sakura. At that moment the bell rung and it was time for lunch.

Sakura sat at her usual table and waited for her friends. Sasuke and her other friends started coming and she began eating. Sasuke was silent as usual. Sakura almost had the nerve to speak her mind.

But she chickened out.

She went through all her classes and he was the same indifferent person. By the end of the day they were walking home from school.

"So, I got an A on my math project", she said.

"Hn."

"Math is my worst subject."

"Hn."

"And I got a new fish."

"Hn."

Sakura started getting steamed. She stopped walking glared at him. Sasuke stopped and turned to her. He stared at her questioningly.

"What?", he asked.

"Sasuke, you're a fish."

!#$%^&*())(*&^%$#!

This is basically what was going on in Sasuke's mind. But what he said was:

"Excuse me?"

"You're a fish. A stupid, annoying, unemotional, ignoring, WON'T LET ME PET HIM, **FISH!!**"

Sasuke's eyes were wide at her declaration. Then they relaxed and he decided to pinpoint on one thing she had said.

" Did you just say, 'Won't let me pet him'?", he asked.

Sakura's face blushed.

"We-well, um. . .eh. . .hehehe. Maybe."

Sasuke grinned.

"Sakura, you're a kitten."

"What?!?"

Sasuke's grin widened. He walked her home while she kept questioning his comment. He finished walking home and went to his room to start his homework. From his bed a small 'meow' sounded.

Sasuke turned from his desk and walked toward theo sound. He picked up the small kitten and started petting it. He tried to set it down, but it meowed in protest.

"Just like Sakura. You always need my attention."


End file.
